Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
