I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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