We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
