dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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