To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
