All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
