need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
