His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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