If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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