Are we in a gay sports bar?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize