Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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