May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
