If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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