He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
