i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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