i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
