Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
