"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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