We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
