when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
