is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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