wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
