just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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