I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
