found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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