Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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