so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she smelled like a LAN party
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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