You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
