There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
