It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
