i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
