he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
