he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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