Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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