Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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