smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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