Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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