remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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