You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
