she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
