she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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