The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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