It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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