I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
