You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
