Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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