No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
