the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize