first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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