So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
