did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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