69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
