i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize