I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
