You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
