Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize