Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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