I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
