The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We got so high we made milksteak
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
