What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
