doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
