yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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