But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
