If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
