i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
