Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't think brook has ever known best
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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