What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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