the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
