By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize