have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
